Posted in in my opinion, love and relationships, music and videos, song in my head, this is life

Song In My Head: Dreaming With A Broken Heart

On my drive home, I was listening to the radio and Magic 89.9 was taking callers on the topic of “moving on”. Throughout the journey, I heard tales from one guy and two girls, and both girls were on the verge of crying. I was laughing with my assistant and just as they were about to end the segment, the lovely John Mayer song played–and the laughter immediately stopped.

The first time I really listened to this song was when I used to watch “So You Think You Can Dance” and Twitch and Kherington performed on stage. Maybe it was the song, maybe it was John Mayer, maybe it was the dance—or maybe it was all of the above. I fell in love with the song in an instant and when I heard it on the radio, I was transported back to that moment when I first watched them perform (see the video below). Suddenly I forgot about the annoying voices on the radio and their so-called heartbreaks. Mostly I stopped because the song made me realize that once upon a time, I had my heart broken too.

dreaming with a broken heart1.jpg

Dreaming With A Broken Heart
John Mayer
 
When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering, “Was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?”
No she’s not, ’cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone….
 
When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering, “Could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?”
No she can’t, ’cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone….
 
Now do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hand?
would you get them if I did?
No you won’t, ’cause you’re gone, gone, gone, gone, gone….
 
When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

The song begins with a few lines that scream reality for many who endure heartbreak and pain, “When you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part”. This, I’m sure is true for most people. “You roll out of bed and down on your knees. And for a moment you can hardly breathe”. Mornings are the hardest because it is when you open your eyes and your mind is the clearest. Sometimes this heavy feeling will come at night, when you are about to expire for the day, but often the exhaustion numbs you and the heaviness of slumber quickly gets in the way of your emotions. But mornings… mornings are the worst. The presence of a new day clamor loudly because it signifies another day you have to forcefully live. Despite the violent reluctance in your head to participate in anything, you open your eyes and you face it all again. It’s different at night when closing your eyes is the perfect escape because dreams can take you anywhere you want to go, mornings are real and the details of your heartache shine like the sun when it’s bright. “Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room?” Oh no–there is no escape.

dreaming with a broken heart2.jpg
Unfortunately so, our hearts are made of tough involuntary muscles. It beats unceasingly, until death, so almost always it will persist–although much to one’s dismay. “Do I have to fall sleep with roses in my hand?” The song asks this question repeatedly. It’s desperately pleading, possibly hoping for an answer. “Would you get them if I did?” When I broke up with my very first boyfriend (more than a decade ago), I was very young but back then, the intensity of the heartbreak I felt had the capacity to break my world and like the lyrics of the song, I pleaded and wished that he would come back. That actually took awhile. I remember going through my first years of Dentistry school trying to find stable footing after been mercilessly torn apart. It wasn’t easy and at this point I remember the callers on the radio and I regret belittling their quivering voices as tears probably welled up in their eyelids. Every heartache is different from one another–for sure–and each one I went through impacted my life differently. Nevertheless, all will be painful because when you realize that the other person has GONE and left, you will be alone to pick up the broken pieces of yourself.

So yes, mornings are often the worst. And in the dance, they paint the frustration and disarming gloom of being alone.

 photo signature_zpsc51e3bbb.png

Author:

I am a dentist and in between patients I am a writer. I have been a blogger since 2004 and writing is something that is most natural to me, like breathing air... words are my sustenance and this blog, is my breathing space.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s