Posted in about me, in my opinion, love and relationships, music and videos, song in my head, stories of friends, this is life

Song In My Head: Sit Still Look Pretty

I was brought up to be independent. As the eldest of four girls, my military father made sure his children were strong enough to fend for themselves. Modified versions of “damsels in distress”, we do not exactly live our lives like MEN, but our parents made sure we were never helpless. We might not be completely strong and skilled, but we were taught to be quick with problem solving. Panic, you lose, you know? Well actually, you can panic—but then you have to know what to do next.
Growing up, my Papa also made sure we engaged in a lot of sports, so I did swimming and track. Then in high school, I was taught to fire guns and began to compete in women’s leagues. Finally, as soon as we could secure a student’s permit, we were taught how to drive and I drove myself to school in College.
This song, “Sit Still, Look Pretty” makes a stand for women who, even in this day, are objectified and pretty much limited in society. It stresses that we refuse to be treated like toys and trophy wives–we don’t want to “sit still, look pretty”, because why should we be diminished to some kind of display right? Women nowadays achieve career levels equivalent to men; we are educated to exhibit excellence and we are even better than them, sometimes (if not always).

Sit Still, Look Pretty
-Daya-
Could dress up, to get love
But guess what?
I’m never gonna be that girl
Who’s living in a Barbie world

Could wake up, in make up, and play dumb
Pretending that I need a boy
Who’s gonna treat me like a toy


Refrain:
I know the other girlies wanna wear expensive things, and diamond rings
But I don’t wanna be the puppet that you’re playing on a string
This queen don’t need a king


Chorus:
Oh I don’t know what you’ve been told
But this gal right here’s gonna rule the world
Yeah that is where I’m gonna be, because I wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty
You get off on your 9 to 5
Dream of picket fences and trophy wives
But no I’m never gonna be, cause I don’t wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still look pretty

Mr. Right could be nice, for one night
But then he wanna take control
And I would rather fly solo
Then Snow White
She did right in her life
Had 7 men to do the chores
‘Cause that’s not what a lady’s for

Refrain:
The only thing that a boy’s gonna give a girl for free’s captivity
And I might love me some vanilla but I’m not that sugar sweet
Call me HBIC


Chorus:
Oh I don’t know what you’ve been told
But this gal right here’s gonna rule the world
Yeah that is where I’m gonna be, because I wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty

You get off on your 9 to 5
Dream of picket fences and trophy wives
But no I’m never gonna be, ’cause I don’t wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still look pretty


Bridge
Sure I’m a pretty girl up in a pretty world
But they say pretty hurts
And I don’t wanna sit still
I’m a pretty girl up in a pretty world
But no I won’t sit still, look pretty
[x2]


Chorus:
Oh I don’t know what you’ve been told
But this gal right here’s gonna rule the world
Yeah that is where I’m gonna be, because I wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty
You get off on your 9 to 5
Dream of picket fences and trophy wives
But no I’m never gonna be, cause I don’t wanna be
Cause I don’t wanna sit still look pretty


Oh I don’t know what you’ve been told
But this gal right here’s gonna rule the world
Yeah that is where I’m gonna be because I wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty
You get off on your 9 to 5
Dream of picket fences and trophy wives
But no I’m never gonna be cause I don’t wanna be
No I don’t wanna sit still, look pretty


Sit still, look pretty
Sit still, look pretty
Sit still, look pretty
Sit still, look pretty

 

Sitting Still and Looking Pretty

Someone once asked me: “What if someone asks you to give up your career and stay at home?” The immediate answer for this one is: “Hell no!”, because you cannot tell me that all my effort was just for nothing. However, understand that I am a Christian and I would love to submit. This poses a big dilemma, so to properly answer this I would like to take you back to years ago, when I was still deciding on what to do for the rest of my life.

You see, I chose to be a dentist because I love the freedom that is tagged with one’s life in private practice. I saw it with my uncle and aunt–was convinced long ago that I wanted the same life–so I pursued my love for Science by becoming a dentist. So nowadays I work six days a week (4 days in my practice; 2 days in Healthway). While that seems rather “busy”, understand that there is a lot of downtime in between patients and when necessary, I can arrange appointments to make room for more important stuff. As a matter of fact, when we were in and out of the hospital for my dad, there were days when I’d come in just because I had to see a patient, and then I’d be back in the hospital. Basically, I chose to pursue Dentistry because in private practice, you are not a slave to your work.

So let’s get back to the question. I still have the same answer, But I have a better version: “Hell no I won’t give up my career, but I can set a very reasonable compromise.” Right now I work six days a week, but I can easily cut it down, so that my assistant can cramp all my appointments in 2-3 days. You see, when I picked Dentistry I did not pick it because I wanted to be rich. I wanted a career that would promise a comfortable life, but I wanted a career that gave enough room for LIFE. That is life with family, friends and even for myself. That is the bottom-line.

Of Truths and Princesses

To ask a woman to sit still and look pretty, I think, is an insult. But I believe that women should be taken care of by men. We should be able to take care of ourselves, but we should also be cared for like princesses. I was having a conversation with my friend about her husband and she was complaining about him being insensitive to her needs–that on a trip she was ready to go on a hunger strike, but he refuses to stop for a meal. “C’mon man, feed the woman already!” Anyway I told her that’s all familiar territory and I felt bad for her. I think that as much as women take care of men, their gender should do the same for us. Men are supposed to protect women, respect women, think of their welfare and constantly ask: “Are you okay?”, even if we are trying our best to show that we are.

In another conversation dated years ago, I was with two girlfriends and two of us were convincing the other to remain as “dependent” on her boyfriend (now husband) as she can. We said, it’s sometimes hard to be independent because men expect you to be capable of fending for yourself–all the time. I remember her saying: “I wish I didn’t know how to drive and didn’t have a car, so he would drop everything for me when I needed to go somewhere” and I agreed with her, but she was quick to recoil: “But then, why do I need him to drive for me? I am completely capable of driving myself. I don’t really need a companion to do errands… but do you know what I mean?” And of course I did.

sit still look pretty.jpg

 

Now I’m contradicting myself. Haha! Actually, my friends and I (my high school girlfriends), we always fantasize about being princesses because we’re all queens. A queen is a woman who has a lot of power but she’s also the one who’s in charge, in control and running things. We’re good with that. We’ve been doing that all our lives. We are women who work and all that is easy, but we fantasize about being princesses. We want to be “pretty and useless”. Queens rule–they have to run the castle and oversee things, but princesses do nothing, and we want that. We secretly want to “sit still and look pretty”, of course not all the time because that would be such as boring life, but it would be nice on occasion. In other words, if I could have it my way, I wouldn’t mind it if Dentistry becomes a hobby. Actually that would be the best thing–when I am able to work as a dentist and work for the fun of it, yes that would be amazing!

So just so I’m clear… no to being displayed and asked to sit still. But yes to being pretty and useless, like a Princess. Princesses have charity works and projects (just like hobbies) on the side to keep them busy.

Sorry Daya, I ruined your song…

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Author:

I am a dentist and in between patients I am a writer. I have been a blogger since 2004 and writing is something that is most natural to me, like breathing air... words are my sustenance and this blog, is my breathing space.

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