Posted in about me, i am a christian, in my opinion, song in my head, this is life

Big Girls Cry

I first heard Sia in “Chandelier”, that’s a good song too. I like Sia, she’s just all the about the music and I like artists like that. This song, I think, I just heard on the radio on my morning drive to work and I didn’t know it was Sia until I Shazam’d it. I immediately searched for it on Spotify and I’ve had it there for awhile until I listened to it intently, and realized this is MY SONG. Not exactly reflecting my emotions at the moment, but this speaks who I am. I am a big girl now—34 years old, quite grown, but I cry and I cry like a baby. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that…

Big Girls Cry
-Sia-

Tough girl
In the fast lane
No time for love
No time for hate
No drama, no time
For games
Tough girl
Whose soul aches

 
[Pre-Chorus]
I’m at home
On my own
Check my phone
Nothing, though
Act busy
Order in
Pay TV
It’s agony

 
[Chorus]
I may cry, ruining my makeup
Wash away all the things you’ve taken
I don’t care if I don’t look pretty
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking
Big girls cry when their heart is breaking

 
Tough girl
I’m in pain
It’s lonely at the top
Blackouts and airplanes
I still pour you a glass of champagne
I’m a tough girl
Whose soul aches

 
[Pre-Chorus]
I’m at home
On my own
Check my phone
Nothing, though
Act busy
Order in
Pay TV
It’s agony

 
[Chorus]
I may cry, ruining my makeup
Wash away all the things you’ve taken
I don’t care if I don’t look pretty
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking
 
I wake up, I wake up, I wake up
I wake up, I wake up, I wake up
I wake up, I wake up, I wake up
I wake up, I wake up, I wake up
I wake up alone

[Chorus]
I may cry, ruining my makeup
Wash away all the things you’ve taken
I don’t care if I don’t look pretty
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking
Big girls cry when their hearts is breaking
 
 
The title of my blog often gives the impression that I am a sissy and I guess I am somehow because my tears have the tendency to fall like water from an open faucet. I cry easily and I cry without ceasing. Actually, I gave myself the name “drama queen” because I’ve always been called one. I cry at movies. I cry at difficult situations (i.e being caught by the traffic police). I cry when pets die. I cry listening to sad stories and when I am telling a sad story. I cry when singing. I cry when I am being shamed or shouted at. I am a girl and I cry… but it doesn’t mean that I am weak.
Just because I am bawling my eyes out, does not mean I cannot fight battles because I can. Yes I cry, and I can cry and I have cried everywhere: in the Chemistry laboratories, in Zoology laboratories, in school canteens, in restaurants, in cars, in bars–even in front of strangers. Sia said it best when she sang: “I may cry, ruining my makeup… I don’t care if I don’t look pretty.. big girls cry when their hearts are breaking”. My exterior is not tough, I break easily. Those who know me well, know that I am fragile and weak like that, but they also know that when I break I can pick myself up and live another day.
So yes… I may be a drama queen and my tears will always be overflowing… but that’s just the diva in me. My core is strong. My foundation stable. My secret: My God is unbreakable.

Author:

I am a dentist and in between patients I am a writer. I have been a blogger since 2004 and writing is something that is most natural to me, like breathing air... words are my sustenance and this blog, is my breathing space.

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